


With One Hand You Calm Me, With One Hand I'm Steel

by sparrow30



Series: Pull the Blindfold Down [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Dom/sub, Multi, Painplay, Safewords, Top Drop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-04 06:07:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/707395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparrow30/pseuds/sparrow30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt, Blaine and Sebastian's first foray into painplay together doesn't quite go as well as they had hoped.</p><p>Set in the Pull the Blindfold Down/Hope in your Hands 'verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With One Hand You Calm Me, With One Hand I'm Steel

**Author's Note:**

> So the wonderful itallstartedwithharry on Tumblr prompted something where one of the boys has to safeword, and this had been brewing in my mind for quite some time, so here it is! Massive shout-out to Lilinas for being my incredible beta once again, I really don't know what I'd do without you!

“Are you sure you want to do this?”  
  
“Kurt, I'm sure.”  
  
“Because you can always change your mind.”  
  
“I don't want to change my mind.”  
  
“Okay, I just want to make absolutely sure-”  
  
“Kurt!” Sebastian's voice was loud and exasperated as he threw his hands above his head. “Please, this is something I really want to do; it's something I _need_ to do. We've been talking about this for weeks and weeks, we've covered every possible eventuality at least ten times. I'm one hundred percent ready for this, I promise you.”  
  
Kurt finally fell silent, but his gaze was piercing as he appraised his sub for a long moment. Sebastian stood unflinching in front of him, staring back determinedly with his head held high. He was so sure about this scene, so incredibly sure, but he knew Kurt needed to be equally as sure, otherwise they were just headed for disaster.  
  
Eventually Kurt gave a sharp nod, and closed his eyes, rolling his shoulders and taking a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again Sebastian could practically see the dominance settling over him, and on instinct he dropped his gaze to the floor, clasping his hands behind his back. He was no longer standing in front of his boyfriend, he was standing in front of his Dom, and different conventions had to be observed.  
  
“Take off your shirt and kneel for me.” Kurt's voice was cool and strong, a clear order that had Sebastian scrambling to obey. As Sebastian whipped his polo shirt above his head and sank down to the floor, knees hitting the thick carpet with a soft thump, Kurt twisted so that he could look at Blaine, who had been standing next to him up until this point. He gently brought one hand up to caress the other boy’s cheek, “I want you to kneel in front of Sebastian, baby. You may keep your clothes on.”  
  
Blaine leaned into Kurt’s touch, whispering a soft “Yes, Master,” before moving to where Kurt had sent him, kneeling so close to Sebastian that their foreheads were practically touching.  
  
“Good boys,” Kurt spoke lowly as he moved into position behind Sebastian. “Sebastian, tell me your safeword,”  
  
“Rose, Sir.” They started all their scenes the same way, it was practically a ritual by this point, and the familiarity of the exchange caused a familiar calm to settle around Sebastian; he could practically feel the soft tendrils of subspace start to wrap around him as he heard Kurt ask the same question of Blaine, followed by Blaine's hushed response of “Ice, Master.”  
  
Their scene had officially started.  
  
He heard Kurt moving behind him, preparing himself, and he forced himself not to turn and look as a gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder. “Sebastian, baby, this is not a punishment. You do not have to stay silent or count, but you may do so if you wish. Because this is not a punishment, I will ask you if you want to continue after every ten strikes, and I will expect an exact response of either “Yes, Sir” or “No, Sir”. If there is any ambiguity in your response I will stop, and if I feel that you are too far under to make an informed decision I will make the decision for you. Is that understood?”  
  
Sebastian could feel the heat coil in the pit of his stomach as he heard Kurt's firm authority bleed effortlessly into his words. “Yes, Sir,” he replied quietly, reverently.  
  
“Good boy. Blaine, you may interact with Sebastian in any way you like in between flogs, but you are not to touch him as I strike, do _you_ understand?”  
  
“Yes, Master,” Blaine's voice was slightly hesitant as he replied, and Sebastian instinctively leaned forwards to press a soft kiss to Blaine's lips. He knew the other sub was not interested in pain-play in the slightest, and certainly couldn't understand Sebastian's fascination with the area, but he had wanted to be part of the scene, and honestly Sebastian had wanted him there just as much. Over the years they had sometimes engaged in separate scenes when circumstances dictated, but those had been few and far-between, since all three boys agreed that it just wasn't the same without all of them present.  
  
“It'll be okay,” Sebastian mumbled softly as he drew away, watching as Blaine nodded resolutely.  
  
“I know, Kurt will look after you.”  
  
Sebastian smiled happily, safe in the knowledge of just how true those words were. He took one more second to take in Blaine’s beautiful face up close before drawing back and settling himself so that he was sitting on his heels with his hands folded in his lap. “I'm ready, Sir”  
  
The hand left his shoulder, but Sebastian only had a split second to mourn its loss before it was replaced by the biting sting of a belt licking across his back, firm and flat and curling just slightly over his shoulder as it landed. Sebastian hissed, his brain whiting out as every single coherent thought was replaced by _PainPainPain_.  
  
And it was completely perfect.  
  
This particular scene was one that had caused some of the most heated debate out of anything on their combined lists. Kurt wasn't a stranger to administering flogs as a form of punishment by any means, but it had taken a lot of conversation, and carefully structured persuasion on Sebastian's behalf, to convince him that pain could be - maybe enjoyable wasn’t strictly the right word but arousing certainly. And it was the only thing that Sebastian missed from his time in France with random stranger-Doms, who hadn't had the same concerns for Sebastian’s physical and emotional wellbeing as Kurt clearly did. It was through these Doms that Sebastian had discovered his masochistic side, and it was a side of him he now desperately wanted to share with Kurt and Blaine.  
  
Eventually Kurt had come around to the idea, but he had point-blank refused to do anything to Sebastian without taking all necessary preparations first. So, of course, that had meant extensive practice with the new toys Sebastian had begged for (a belt, a cane and a particularly beautiful cat o’ nine tails Sebastian had found online), with Kurt pouring all his time and attention into learning how to wield these beautiful, dangerous toys on cushions and other inanimate objects first, so that when the time came he was absolutely sure he could give Sebastian what he needed without hurting him in the wrong way. Sebastian had sat in on every single one of Kurt’s practice sessions, offering advice and suggestions, and having to watch as Kurt acted out Sebastian’s deepest, darkest fantasies without ever once laying a hand on him honestly had to be the most beautiful kind of torture Sebastian had ever experienced. He had finished every session achingly hard and teetering on the edge of subspace so completely that it often only took a few (sometimes unintentional) words for Sebastian to drop under, just like he was close to doing now after only one strike. It was completely crazy, in an incredible kind of way.  
  
The belt came down across his back again, hitting the thick muscle of his shoulder, and Sebastian couldn’t help crying out, slumping forward into Blaine’s ready embrace. He felt warm hands running up and down his arms, and Blaine’s voice breathless in his ear.  
  
“You’re okay, Seb, you’re okay,” Blaine muttered lowly, repeating the words over and over in his ear like a personal mantra, his fingers flexing tightly around Sebastian’s biceps as he spoke, and Sebastian could only sigh blissfully, because he was so much more than okay.  
     
Kurt paused, giving Sebastian a chance to straighten back up and waiting patiently until Blaine had removed his hands from Sebastian’s arms before letting the belt fly again, this time flicking across the other shoulder in a near-perfect mirror of the previous strike. After that he set up a steady pace, with each of the first ten flogs sending tendrils of heat shooting across Sebastian’s back in quick succession. He could feel his skin tingling as blood rushed to the surface, and his harsh breathing started to morph into heavy moans. After every hit of the belt Blaine moved back in, his hands almost frantically grazing over any part of Sebastian that he could reach in an attempt to comfort him, or maybe reassure him. Not that Sebastian needed either of those things of course; he felt like he was _flying_.  
  
Sebastian felt another hand come to rest on his shoulder, and then Kurt’s voice rang high and clear through the haze that was starting to settle over him. “That’s ten, baby. Would you like to continue?” Even when phrasing a question there was no mistaking the edge of authority in Kurt’s voice. It was a question he expected, no _demanded_ an answer to, and Sebastian nodded adamantly. “Yes, Sir. Please, please Sir, I need more, harder, please god, Sir. I can take it, I promise I’ll be so good.” He felt Blaine’s fingers tighten almost unconsciously around his wrists at his response, and he gasped as the blunt pressure mingled with the sharp sting of his back, completely overloading his senses.  
  
“You’re already so good for me, baby, you’re my perfect sub. Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll give you exactly what you need.” The hand disappeared, the belt returned, and Sebastian surrendered to the intoxicating feel of leather on flesh.  
  
True to his word, the hits started coming harder, faster. They were always targeted at safe areas; across thick muscle and dense flesh, but Sebastian could feel the burn start to build. His skin felt like it was on fire, it was singing underneath Kurt’s ministrations, and when a particularly strong lash fell across his left side and he felt the faintest trickle of blood start to roll its way down his skin he knew that he was almost completely gone. He moaned desperately and slumped forwards into Blaine’s chest once more, panting harshly against the slightly rough fabric of Blaine’s jumper. Just one more stroke, that would be all he needed to drop completely under. Just. One. More -  
  
“Ice!”  
  
The warmth of Blaine’s body underneath his cheek suddenly vanished, and Sebastian pitched forwards unsteadily as the single syllable rang out stark and harsh in a silence that had previously only been punctuated by Sebastian’s breathy moans. It served to drag Sebastian away from the edges of subspace so quickly and so completely it made his head spin slightly, and it took every single ounce of strength he had to catch himself before his face hit the floor, to open his eyes and return to the room when he had been _so damn close_. But Blaine’s safeword was still ringing in his ears and he knew he had no other option.  
  
Blaine had flung himself backwards, scrambling as far away from Sebastian as he could possibly get before his back hit the wall behind him, and he was staring at Sebastian and Kurt with a look of abject terror in his eyes. For the longest half-second nobody moved, and then Sebastian heard the dull thud of the belt hitting the floor and in an instant Kurt was on the other side of the room, dropping to his knees and wrapping his arms around Blaine as he whispered soothingly in the other boy’s ear. All the energy seemed to leave Blaine and he broke down in massive, heaving sobs that shook his entire body, burying his head in Kurt’s shoulder as he wept.  
  
“Ice, ice, please Master, I can’t, I just can’t.”  
  
“Shhh, shhh, I know darling, I’m here, you’re okay.”  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I just-”  
  
“You have nothing to be sorry for Blaine, sweetheart, nothing at all. You were such a good sub for me, so wonderful, shhh, it’s okay, you’re safe.”  
  
“I thought I would be okay with it, but I’m just not. I just can’t, not after S- Sadie-”  
  
“You don’t have to explain, I understand baby, we both understand. It’s okay, shhh, you’re alright, you’re alright.”  
  
Kurt’s hands never ceased in their movements rubbing small, comforting circles across Blaine’s back he turned his attention back to Sebastian, who was having to focus very hard on getting his breathing under control. He wanted to go over and comfort Blaine, he really did, but getting wrenched away from subspace so harshly had completely thrown him, and for now all he could do was stare back at Kurt, blinking furiously as he wrestled with the emotions coursing through his body.  
  
“Sebastian-” Kurt began, his voice cracking with emotion, and Sebastian shook himself roughly. Kurt needed to focus on Blaine right now, he couldn’t be worrying about Sebastian as well.  
  
“I’m fine Si-,” he cut himself off abruptly before he could finish the sentence, straightening up and taking a couple of deep breaths as he fought to shake off the feeling of limbo that the sudden end to their scene had thrown him into. “I’m fine Kurt, I promise. Look after Blaine; he needs you more than I do.”  
  
Kurt held Sebastian’s gaze as he continued to run his hands soothingly up and down Blaine’s back, and Sebastian squared his shoulders slightly as he stared determinedly back. He was back in the room now, so to speak. He could look after himself, and he couldn’t have Kurt worrying about him while Blaine was still so heart-wrenchingly broken.  
  
Kurt seemed to find what he was looking for in Sebastian’s gaze, because he gave a short nod. “Okay. Okay, your back needs looking at, so you’ll need to go into the bathroom and bring back-” he halted when Blaine gave a pitiful whimper and buried himself deeper into Kurt’s shoulder, his whole body trembling as he muttered protestations desperately into the soft fabric of his Dom’s shirt.  
  
“It’s okay, Kurt,” Sebastian repeated firmly, making sure he held his boyfriend’s gaze as he spoke. Blaine clearly wouldn’t be able to handle being around Sebastian while he was getting cleaned up, and there was no way Kurt could leave him alone to tend to Sebastian, which meant there was only one other course of action, one that Sebastian knew Kurt was going to struggle immensely with, because that was just the sort of Dom he was. Sebastian needed Kurt to know that he would be okay, that he didn’t have to feel bad about choosing the only option available to them; he couldn’t let Kurt beat himself up about it, he just couldn’t.  
  
Giving a heavy sigh Kurt looked between the sub curled into his chest and the sub still kneeling on the other side of the room, his expression completely torn. “It’s okay,” Sebastian reiterated one last time, emotion bleeding into his voice as he desperately tried to show Kurt as much as tell him that he understood what needed to be done.  
  
Kurt gave a soft huff of dejection. “Alright. Okay, I want you to go into the bathroom and clean your back Sebastian; I’ve laid out everything you’ll need on the counter. Once you’re done I want you to come join us in the bedroom, can you do that for me baby?”  
  
“Yes, Sir,” Sebastian breathed, barely even noticing his slip as he felt the tension in his shoulders dissipate under that one final command from his Dom. He knew that their scene was over, technically, but if he was following an order then that meant that Kurt would almost still be with him while he cleaned himself up, even if he wasn’t actually with him, and that somehow made the idea of leaving the room, leaving Kurt and Blaine, just that little bit easier. And if it was only helping matters then surely it was okay to fudge the lines just a little, just this one time, right?  
  
With a swift nod of his head he struggled to his feet, wincing as the movement pulled at his sore, abused muscles. He quickly made his way over towards the door, making sure to stay well outside of Blaine’s field of vision, and he just about managed to wait until he was behind the safety of the bathroom door before letting out the shaky breath he had been holding, sinking down to perch on the edge of the toilet as emotion threatened to overwhelm him.  
  
He could hear Kurt and Blaine through the bathroom door, Kurt’s voice constantly soothing and reassuring Blaine even as the other boy wept and begged for forgiveness. Sebastian’s heart felt like it was breaking every time he heard one of Blaine’s anguished sobs, and he wanted nothing more than to just burst back through the door, drop down in front of Blaine and simply hold him as he cried.  
  
But him being around Blaine would almost certainly do more harm than good right now, Sebastian knew that much even if he didn’t want to admit it. Blaine had his Dom out there, Kurt would look after him, and as the dull ache of his back started to turn into an all-out throbbing mess Sebastian knew that he needed to look after himself soon or he would have hell to pay tomorrow. And as much as he wanted to just sit there on the cold marble surface and wallow in how he had inadvertently caused his boyfriend such heartbreak, as much as some large part of him felt he deserved to be in pain for the hurt he had wrought on the two boys he cared more about than anyone else in the world, Kurt had told him to look after himself and so that was what he was going to do. End of story.  
  
Picking up one of the cotton pads Kurt had left in a neat pile on the bathroom counter, Sebastian squirted a little diluted TCP (also sitting ready in an organized line next to the band-aids and the sudocrem) onto its surface before taking a deep breath and reaching over his shoulder to dab at his back, hissing as the alcohol seeped into his flesh. He closed his eyes, imaging Kurt sitting behind him, instructing his movements, and under Kurt’s imaginary guidance he worked carefully, diligently, until every scrape and every bruise was tended to.  
  
By the time he stepped back into their joint bedroom, all cleaned, bandaged and dressed in his standard sleepwear of sweatpants and t-shirt (actually he would usually forego the t-shirt, but given the state of his back and the state Blaine was in, he figured he should probably err on the side of caution for tonight at least) Kurt and Blaine were already tucked up in bed, Blaine’s head pillowed on Kurt’s chest as they talked lowly to one another. At the sound of the door clicking behind him they both looked up, and Sebastian couldn’t help hovering hesitantly by the wall, wanting nothing more than to just dive into bed with his boyfriends but not quite sure whether Blaine wanted to be around him again just yet.  
  
“Get over here you muppet,” Kurt sighed, gesturing with his free arm that wasn’t wrapped around Blaine’s shoulders, and Sebastian didn’t need telling twice. In three long strides he was across the room, slipping into the spare side of the bed and snuggling up close to Blaine, who leaned back easily into Sebastian’s embrace.  
  
“I’m so sorry for ruining your scene, Seb-” the shorter boy began, but Sebastian just shushed him with a firm kiss on his lips.  
  
“Stop it B, you don’t have anything to be sorry for. If anything _I’m_ the one who should be apologizing for putting you in a situation where you felt you needed to safeword.”  
  
“I just feel so stupid,” Blaine replied, voice small, and Sebastian felt something in his chest crack at how distraught his boyfriend sounded.  
  
“Hey, hey, none of that,” he replied firmly, dipping his head so that he could look Blaine in the eye. “We’re subs. At some point or another this happens to all of us; it kind of comes with the territory I’m afraid.”  
  
Blaine gave a weak laugh, turning those big brown eyes to look sadly up at Sebastian. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, Seb, honestly, but I just can't suspend disbelief long enough to accept that you, Sebastian Smythe, have ever safeworded in your entire life."  
  
"Twice," Sebastian responded simply. "I've safeworded out of scenes twice, and I don't regret either time."  
  
"Baby?" Kurt's voice was questioning as he reached over Blaine to stroke along Sebastian's arm. "You've never told us that."  
  
Sebastian shrugged, "It wasn't a big deal really. I wasn't happy, I stopped the scene, what more is there to it?"  
  
He nuzzled Blaine's neck, trying to show his boyfriend that everything was okay since telling him obviously didn't seem to be working, but Blaine pulled away slightly, cocking his head in question. "What happened?" he pressed, apparently unwilling to let this one lie.  
  
Giving a small, resigned sigh Sebastian rolled onto his back so he could lean against the headrest, one hand almost unconsciously reaching out to tangle in Blaine’s as he brought the other up behind his head to support himself. "The first time was one of my first scenes with a beginner back in Paris. We were playing with bondage, and I noticed that he had tied the knots of the rope around my left hand kind of funny, and hey, don't be like that," he chided gently in response to Kurt's immediate ‘tsk’ of disapproval, "Everyone makes mistakes when they're learning Kurt, you know that as well as I do."  
  
"I know, I know," Kurt huffed, sounding contrite after being effectively scolded by his sub. "But come on Bas! Ropes and beginners; that's just asking for trouble!"  
  
"Well, yes, that was kind of my reaction too," Sebastian responded with a wry smile "And once I noticed what he had done I just couldn't relax. I couldn’t stop myself from worrying about what would happen if I went under and didn't realize if I started to lose circulation and he didn't think to check and... I guess I may have panicked a little and safeworded. He was so good about it though, seriously, and really embarrassed when I explained why I’d had to call time on our scene - it was a little adorable actually. We spent the rest of the night online-shopping for more experience-appropriate toys, and then 6 months later I found myself engaging in a seriously mind blowing scene with the guy and his new sub, who was adamant he had to thank the 'amazing sub who taught Ben his incredible bondage skills'... So it wasn't all bad I guess!"  
  
Kurt gave a soft laugh, knowing full-well how un-submissive his boyfriend could be when he wanted to be. “Okay so you turned mentor for some poor innocent parisian - who I bet is now one of the hottest Doms in all of France if you had anything to do with it - what about the other time?”  
  
The smile instantly dropped from Sebastian’s face, and he didn’t say anything straight away, instead dropping his eyes to where Blaine’s hand was clasped in his. He started rubbing small circles along the side of Blaine’s forefinger with his thumb as he remembered the other time.  
  
“Baby?” Kurt’s voice was immediately soft, hesitant, as he reached over to start stroking up and down Sebastian’s leg comfortingly. “Whatever happened, whatever this guy did to you...”  
  
Sebastian shook his head adamantly, “No, no it wasn’t like that at all, he was a good guy, we just got our wires crossed.” He looked up to see Kurt raising an eyebrow at him, obviously not believing a word of what he was saying. “I’m serious! You don’t have to go on a bitch-slapping rampage across Paris, I promise Kurt. Okay, right, so I met this guy in KnK; that’s like the biggest underground D/s club in Paris, and by this point I was pretty well known around the joint, as was he. We went home together, and it was- it was _mind-blowing_ guys. We’d known each other for about twenty minutes and yet he still knew exactly what I needed, right down to the very last detail. He was so in tune with, well me I guess, it was insane. He used me so incredibly, so perfectly, I’ve never had another scene like it. Well, until I met you two of course,” Sebastian clarified with a wry smile, wiggling his eyebrows as Kurt snorted in amusement and slapped his thigh lightly in response. “So the next day we went for coffee in a little café just around the corner from his place. Now you have to understand, that was a big deal for me back then, sticking around long enough to have breakfast with the guy afterwards. But I thought that this guy could be different, could actually be something more than just that night, you know? But then the waiter came over and he ordered for me.”  
  
Kurt immediately snorted in laughter, and for the first time that night Sebastian saw the briefest of smiles flit across Blaine’s face; Sebastian’s aversion to showcasing his submissive nature in public was a running joke between the three of them. “Exactly. And when I tried to argue he just laughed and told me that he could give me everything I needed without me needing to fish for punishments. That’s when I realized that this wasn’t breakfast between two guys who had played the night before; this was still part of the scene for him. Now I’m not sure if you guys have noticed, but I’m not exactly a lifestyle sub-”  
  
“Well duh” Kurt interrupted with a derisive scoff.  
  
“-so I safeworded, right there in the middle of a crowded café.” Sebastian shuddered slightly, suddenly thrust back into that moment. “It was horrible, having to do something so, so _personal_ with so many people around. I’m not sure anybody else even noticed, but I was shaking so hard afterwards this guy basically had to carry me out of the café, I don’t even remember-”  
  
“Woah, okay, breathe for me there Sebastian. You’re okay, just breathe.” Kurt’s soft words washed over him and Sebastian realized his eyes had somehow slipped shut, his breathing erratic as he allowed himself to get caught up in the unpleasant memory. Forcing himself to calm down he opened his eyes and he smiled shakily back at Kurt, feeling himself relax physically as well as mentally as he took in the sight of his beautiful Dom in front of him.  
  
“I know I am. I’m with you, Sir, how could I not be okay?” he replied softly before tilting his head towards Blaine. “The point is, I don’t regret either time I safeworded, not for a moment. Please B, please don’t feel bad about this - it’s almost a rite of passage for us subs, so congratulations, you’re officially part of the safeword club!”  
  
Blaine snorted and rolled over, burying his face in the crook of Sebastian’s armpit. “You’re an idiot,” he muttered lowly.  
  
“Yes, but he’s our idiot,” Kurt replied with a smile, rolling over onto his side and shuffling down so that he could wrap his arm around Blaine’s waist, the length of his chest pressed against the other boy’s back as he cocooned his sub with his body.  
  
Usually they slept with Kurt in the middle, with Blaine and Sebastian folded in on top of him, so close Sebastian that could feel the soft puffs of Blaine’s breath on his cheek as the other boy slipped into sleep, dragging him down alongside him, but today Kurt was right; Blaine needed this, needed _them_. Shuffling onto his side as well Sebastian reached forward to press a soft kiss to Blaine’s cheek, one arm coming up to wrap around his boyfriend’s chest just underneath Kurt’s embrace. “Try to get some sleep B, you’ll feel better in the morning, I promise.”    
   

* * *

  
When Sebastian woke up thirsty halfway through the night, he found Kurt's side of the bed empty. Blaine was still snuffling softly in his sleep, one arm and leg thrown casually over Sebastian's body, but Sebastian didn't want to wake him unnecessarily. He knew how emotionally draining a tough scene could be, and a good night's sleep was just what Blaine needed right about now.  
  
So, with soft, cautious movements Sebastian slid slowly towards the edge of the bed, moving gently so as not to disrupt the sleeping boy next to him and wincing slightly as the movement tugged on his still-raw back. When Blaine's limbs slipped from their resting place on top of Sebastian's body to land back on the bed with a soft thump, Sebastian held his breath as the shorter boy frowned in his sleep, before rolling over to hug at his pillow. Breathing a soft sigh of relief Sebastian slipped from the bed completely, padding softly across the carpeted floor and making sure to shut the bedroom door behind him with a soft 'click'.  
  
Kurt was sitting motionless on the couch in the living room, just as Sebastian had suspected he might be when he realized he was missing from bed. His posture was rigid, his gaze flicking only briefly towards Sebastian as he entered the room before returning to stare into nothingness. His whole body practically radiated unhappiness, and without really thinking about what he was doing Sebastian walked over toward Kurt, sinking to his knees at his Dom's feet without a word.  
  
“Sebastian, not now,” Kurt chided softly, but when Sebastian felt long fingers start to card through his hair, the gesture so fluid and completely at odds with the rest of Kurt's body language that Sebastian was pretty sure the other boy didn't even realize he was doing it, Sebastian had no qualms about ignoring Kurt's orders, just this once. He had a feeling Kurt needed this.  
  
He rested his chin on his Dom's knee, watching as Kurt continued to absent-mindedly run his fingers through Sebastian's hair even as he stared off into the distance. He waited for ten long minutes, giving Kurt the opportunity to speak first if he wanted to, but when no words came he gave a soft sigh and nuzzled his cheek against Kurt's thigh.  
  
“You're not a bad Dom,” his voice was quiet, barely a whisper, but he knew Kurt had heard him by the way his whole body tensed up in response.  
  
“Blaine safeworded.” Kurt's voice was a flat monotone that made Sebastian's heart break a little in his chest.  
  
“And you stopped the scene right away,” Sebastian prompted, his voice firm. He knew exactly what Kurt must be thinking right now, and he was damned if he was going to let his Dom beat himself up about what had happened that night.  
  
“Blaine safeworded.” Kurt repeated, as if that was the be-all and end-all of the discussion. Sebastian scowled and drew away from Kurt's leg so that he could twist to better face the other boy, one hand coming up to pluck Kurt's hand away from the back of his neck and hold it securely in his lap.  
  
“And. You. Stopped. The. Scene.” He replied again, stressing every word for good measure. When Kurt still looked unconvinced he gave a small sigh, “Look, you're the one who's always telling us that there's no shame in using our safeword; what are we supposed to think of it if doing it makes our Dom look so damn unhappy?”  
  
Kurt gave a small gasp, whipping his hand out of Sebastian's grasp to clap it to his mouth in horror. “Oh god, is that what Blaine thinks? Fuck, I’m the worst Dom in the world! I need to talk to him, I need to explain, I need-”, Kurt started scrambling to his feet, his voice getting steadily higher-pitched and more hysterical as he talked. Sebastian winced and grabbed Kurt's hand, yanking him back towards the sofa as he cursed himself and his apparent inability to ever say anything helpful without making things a thousand times worse at the same time. Good one Sebastian, really good.  
  
“Blaine is fine, Kurt, I promise. He's in bed sleeping soundly because you were a model Dom and did exactly the right thing after a safeworded scene. You cared for him, comforted him, and I promise you he fell asleep feeling safe, feeling loved. Please, Sir, take it from a sub who knows. You did everything right.”  
  
Sebastian could tell that Kurt was still on edge, but as the formal title slipped unconsciously into Sebastian's dialogue he saw his Dom's shoulders start to loosen. “He should never have had to safeword in the first place,” he muttered under his breath, but Sebastian could tell that some of the hurt was starting to dissipate.  
  
“What's the point in having a safeword if we never do anything where we might need to use it?” Sebastian questioned, knowing that Kurt was a sucker for logic, even at his most distressed. “What I was trying to say before, before I so eloquently put my foot in it,” he paused, smiling softly at the wet chuckle that slipped from Kurt's lips. “What I was trying to say was that if we're not allowed to be ashamed of using our safeword, then you're not allowed to be ashamed of making us use it. Them's the rules.”  
  
Kurt gave a soft sigh, his hand trailing up Sebastian's body to caress his cheek fondly. “Aren't I supposed to be the one comforting you after a scene?” he asked questioningly, before the next second his eyes clouded over and Sebastian knew he was losing Kurt again to self-loathing. Damn, and they had been doing so well.  
  
“And that's another thing!” Kurt exclaimed, his eyes getting steadily wider as realization seemed to dawn on him. “What would have happened if Blaine had safeworded after you had slipped completely under? There is no _way_ I could have given you the aftercare you needed, especially after such a heavy scene, and brought Blaine through safewording at the same time! What happens if next time you're both under and I have to make a choice of who to look after first? I don't think I can do that Sebastian, I can't make that sort of decision!”  
  
“Kurt!” Sebastian cried out, desperately trying to break through the haze of panic that had settled over the other boy, surging up onto his haunches to press a firm kiss to Kurt's lips, drawing the angry protestations into his own mouth and silencing his boyfriend in the only way he knew how. When Kurt finally quieted he mumbled against Kurt's lips, “You would have made it work, you always do.” Kurt shook his head slightly, and Sebastian could see the tears start to well in his eyes and no, if there was one thing in this world that was completely not allowed, it was letting Kurt cry.  
  
“Inside you might have been panicking, but you would have never let that affect you. You would have put that all on hold, because you know that your subs have to come first, no matter what. That's the reason you're the best Dom I've ever come across.” Sebastian’s voice was soft, almost a whisper, as he rested his forehead against Kurt's, their noses so close they were almost touching. “You would have stopped the instant Blaine safeworded, and you would have had him in your arms within seconds. You would have kissed him, and held him together as he cried, and let him know that you were there for him, that everything was going to be okay.” Sebastian's eyes fluttered closed as the scene played out behind his eyelids, feeling a soft calm settle over him as he let his imagination take the reins.  
  
“Then you would have taken his hand in yours, and held onto it tight as you knelt down in front of me. I would have been confused about why we had stopped, but I would have trusted you to look after me, just like I always trust my Dom. You would have stroked my cheek, and kissed me on the mouth,” Sebastian paused in his monologue to press a mimicking kiss to Kurt's lips, feeling the soft exhale of Kurt's breath and smiling as he felt the tension literally bleed out of his Dom under his words and his touch (and wasn't that a role-reversal and a half). “You would have told me that I had been so good for you, so perfect, and you needed me to be the perfect sub that you knew I was for just a little while longer. You would have told me to breathe slowly, in and out, in and out,” Sebastian felt his breathing falling into step with his words, smiling when Kurt unconsciously started to do the same.  
  
“'Just breathe Sebastian, you're such a good boy for me, such a good sub.' I can almost hear you saying it now. You would have told me to keep on breathing, just like that, just like you had ordered, and then told me that you would be back in just a moment. You would tell me again what a good, strong boy I was, and then you would have let me kneel, waiting for you, surrounded in the protection of the subspace that _you_ gave to me, while you took Blaine to the bedroom, because seeing me like this would only upset him and you had to put him first, if only for a little while. And once you were sure he was sleeping peacefully, you would have come back to me, where I would have still been kneeling blissfully, perfectly happy to wait for my Dom for as long as he wanted me to. I wouldn't have been afraid, or upset that you weren't in the room, because I would have known that just because you weren't there it didn't mean you weren't with me. And when you returned you would have kissed me, and cleaned my back, and given me all the aftercare in the world, telling me all the time how good I had been, how well I had done. And as you brought me back up I would have found myself in my loving, kind, wonderful Dom's arms, feeling completely and utterly content.” Sebastian trailed off softly, smiling a little bashfully when he realized how caught up in his own imagination he had gotten.  
  
“How can you be so sure?” Kurt's voice was quiet, hesitant. “I was so scared, how do you know that's how I would have reacted?”  
  
“Because I know you,” Sebastian replied simply, ducking his head to catch Kurt's gaze and smiling slightly. It was the easiest question he'd ever been asked.  
  
Kurt gave a long sigh, the warmth of his breath tickling Sebastian's face. “I don't know; sometimes I just think maybe we're getting in too deep, that we should stop all this and go back to just being boyfriends.”  
  
Sebastian had to furiously stamp down the panic that erupted in his chest as Kurt's deflated words, because for him Domination and submission had always been part of his relationship with Kurt and Blaine, there was no 'back to boyfriends' for him, and so where would that sort of change in their relationship leave him? But now was not the time to let his insecurities out, right now he needed to be there for Kurt, just like Kurt had been there countless times for him, so instead he drew back slightly and raised one eyebrow at the other boy.  
  
“You don't mean that,” he said firmly, breathing a small sigh of relief when Kurt huffed in response, looking down at his feet.  
  
“No, I really don't. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't Dominate you two. Go crazy probably.”  
  
It was odd, Sebastian thought as he watched Kurt toy with his hands in his lap. He objectively knew that Kurt enjoyed Domination; that much was obvious in the way he conducted himself during their scenes. Sebastian knew without a shadow of a doubt that Kurt relished his role in their somewhat unconventional relationship, but he had never really considered the idea that Kurt _needed_ their scenes as much as he did, that Kurt needed to Dominate just as much as Sebastian needed to submit. But then again, now that he thought about it, really thought about it, of course that was the case. After a scene Kurt would always hold himself a little higher, his smile just that little easier, like he could take on the world. It was a beautiful sight to behold, and one that Sebastian never wanted to stop seeing.  
  
He didn't say anything nearly as sappy, of course. He might love Kurt with all his heart but he would never be one of those ridiculous romantics, despite Blaine’s constant influence on him. So instead he reached up to kiss Kurt gently on the cheek. “Well that's good,” he whispered softly in his Dom's ear, “lets make sure that never happens, because crazy Kurt is too much for even me to handle.”  
  
Kurt gave a small laugh, twisting so that he could capture Sebastian's lips with his own, both hands coming up to frame Sebastian's face. The firm press of his mouth was hot and hard and claiming, as if proving to himself that Sebastian was here, that Sebastian was his. Sebastian happily surrendered to his Dom's guidance, letting Kurt take whatever he needed from his willing mouth.  
  
When Kurt finally broke the kiss he let his forehead rest gently against Sebastian's, his hands still cupping Sebastian's cheeks, the pair of them panting softly as they recovered from the intensity of their interactions. Sebastian let his eyes flutter closed as he inhaled Kurt's exhaled breaths, feeling the soft contentment that always came when he was so completely wrapped up in his Dom like this.  
  
“I enjoyed it, tonight, before everything went wrong I mean.” Kurt's voice was soft, hesitant, as if he were making a confession that he was almost embarrassed to make. “I probably shouldn't have, but I did.”  
  
Sebastian frowned at Kurt's words, “Why shouldn't you have enjoyed it?” he asked, genuinely confused about Kurt's revelation.  
  
“Because I was hurting you. I made you bleed. What sort of sick person enjoys doing that to their boyfriend?” Sebastian could hear the tears in Kurt's voice, and he pressed a soft kiss to the edge of his mouth in what he hoped was obvious reassurance.  
  
“I enjoyed you hurting me, does that make me sick?” he asked innocently, knowing exactly what sort of response the question would elicit from his over-protective Dom.  
  
True to form, Kurt instantly drew back, his face a picture of horror. “Of course it doesn't Bas! Baby, we've been over this so many times; there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling how you feel, with wanting what you want...” he trailed off as he saw Sebastian's lips twitch in amusement. “Oh, I see what you did there,” he finished with a wry smile. “Nicely played Smythe, nicely played.”  
  
Sebastian grinned, flicking imaginary lint off his shoulder with the back of his hand. “What can I say, I'm a pro.”  
  
Kurt laughed, swatting at the air by Sebastian's head. “Don't get too cocky there, you know what happens to subs who give their Doms attitude don't you?”  
  
“What, will you punish me Sir?” Sebastian's voice slipped effortlessly into a silky purr as he wriggled his body in between Kurt's legs, tilting his head upward so he could watch as Kurt's breath caught in his throat and his eyes darkened. “Are you going to take that belt and mark me some more, put me in my place and claim me as yours?”  
  
Kurt practically growled as he surged forwards, drawing Sebastian up to straddle his lap, wrapping his arms around the other boy’s waist as he dipped his head forward to attack Sebastian’s neck. His long fingers trailed up and down Sebastian's back, pressing through the fabric of his t-shirt against the raised welts that criss-crossed his torso and making the sub cry out as the sharp stings of pain mixed with the pleasure that he felt from Kurt sucking deep, dark marks along the long expanse of his neck, and Sebastian felt himself quickly growing hard against Kurt's own lengthening cock.  
  
Just as Sebastian felt himself getting light-headed from the intoxicating combination of arousal and pain Kurt drew away, panting heavily. Sebastian whined and attempted to chase Kurt's lips, but his Dom gave a firm shake of his head. “Not tonight, baby, not tonight.” When Sebastian simply whined again, his voice bleeding desperation Kurt sighed and dipped forward to press one more, much softer, kiss to Sebastian's neck, where dark angry bruises were already starting to form. “We can't, not after everything that has happened tonight. We all need to sit and re-negotiate, and I won't do anything tonight that either of us might regret in the morning.”  
  
When Sebastian pouted and opened his mouth to argue that the only thing he would regret would be not feeling Kurt come inside of him that night, Kurt silenced him with a finger to his lips and a raised eyebrow. “We _will_ explore this again, Bas, I promise. I’ve never seen you so open, so unguarded, and I’m not going to take that away from you, I swear. Honestly this is something I want to explore, for me just as much as you, but first we need to find out how we can make this work without hurting Blaine in the process, okay? And besides, after everything Blaine has been through tonight, it's not really fair to leave him on his own next door for very much longer, don’t you think?”  
  
And of course, there was nothing Sebastian could say to contest that, nothing he would _want_ to say, really. In an instant his arousal morphed into soft contentment, and suddenly all he wanted, more than anything else in the world, was to be in bed with Kurt and Blaine curled up around him, falling asleep to the feel of his boyfriends' skin on his, and the sound of their breathing in his ear. He let Kurt deposit him gently on his feet, and silently accepted his Dom's hand as he led them both back to the bedroom, back to Blaine, and back to the other third of their combined heart.  
  



End file.
